moanlog – Anonymous moaning

I keep talking to you so much because I like like you.
Forget about her she doesn't want you! I don't want to give you advice!

I'll always be the best thing you never had

I liked this boy who is 2 years older than me for over a year, and he would always lead me on, which really didn't help. At his older brothers birthday party (we are close family friends) he got really drunk, he started texting me when I was right next to him telling me to meet him in the bathroom, I knew he was drunk and I didn't want too. He kept touching my leg and trying to persuade me, then I actually needed to pee. So I went to the bathroom and then when I came out he was standing in there and pushed me back in. He turned the lights off and started hugging me and kissing me, but he stunk. The thing is, I used to think I was in love with him, so I didn't care and I was flattered. Only now is it that I realised I was very wrong. I ended up getting scared because he was really drunk and saying things. He wouldnt let me out the bathroom so I ended up saying to him, "if you don't let me out now, I'll scream" so he let me out. I ended up telling my mum because I was so scared after, so shaken up. She told his mum and things got a bit worse. But then better, he wrote me a letter saying how sorry he is and how much he regrets it. But ever since then he aparently still feels bad, and it's been a year.. He won't talk to me and its awkward because we meet up every week because of our families, but it's like I'm invisible, he looks straight through me, I know I really liked him but I still feel like somethings missing, I just want him to speak to me again, atleast smile, or look at me, or even join me in a conversation, but it's just not happening. I messaged him a while back saying you shouldnt feel bad etc. but im invisible to you now. and he hasnt replied. That message was sent 5 months ago... How do I get him to message me back or even realize I exist again?

I should have gone with you all those years ago. If I regret anything, it's that. It could have changed the way my life has gone. And now I'm stuck in this place, with someone I'm not sure I want to be here with, regretting nearly every move I've made in this context.
Things could have been so different. And now I'm stuck between two places, bang in the middle, and I have no idea what to do about it.

why do you have to love me so much?
and why do we have to be best friends?
i want you for the sake of having someone YOU
argh for pissing hells sake
now i feel lonely
gosh im retarded and mess things up

Why can't I just have a little bit of *freedom*!
I'm 17! I can drive! (Sort of...)
I should be allowed to make decisions about my life!
Not never be in the same room as a boy alone, and have to have my mother know the parents of the person I'm hanging out with, and not go anywhere on school nights!

man i HATE DECISIONS!

Oh shit. I need to diet.

Linux geeks, what the fuck? Today I had a problem with compiling a rather obscure piece of software that had old and redundant READMEs from the previous author and versions, and all they contained were changelogs and other useless information that should have been omitted from the release.

Anyway, I asked this guy if it would be ok if I used a more well-known and supported application. You would expect him to try and offer some support or maybe other software recommendations, but the prick just flat out says "if you can't compile you shouldn't use linux" then saying "you need to know shit, linux is hardly document".

It's guys like him that give Linux and the whole community driven aspect a bad name.

i hate life