Why try and pretend that this christmas is going to be the same as all the others? It won't be. He's gone, and you two aren't together now. It won't be the same. And I'm standing down there watching everyone decorate the tree - which looks awful this year - pretending that everythings ok, that nothings changed, and that everybody's happy.
Thats not the case, I know its not and it never will be.
Here's a massive "fuck you" to 2010, and I'm praying that next year will be better. Because this has been one of the worst of my life.