I want to want you. I want to want you so fucking bad. But can I let myself... like, really, let myself want you? No. Because I have no fucking confidence. People did this sort of stuff when we were 16, I'm 21 and stuff haven't fucking kissed someone properly. I haven't had sex. And yet I'm supposed to live up to this reputation that I have of the whole cool, popular, attractive guy who did all this crap years before anyone else. Reputations mean nothing when there's no truth behind them, and god knows I didn't start it. I want to want you so badly. I want to kiss you so badly. I wanted to kiss you tonight, when you gave me every chance, but I fucked it up. I fucked it up AGAIN. I hate myself for shit like that. I really, deeply hate myself for this kind of thing.